Real programmers
- Real programmers don't write specs -- Users should consider themselves
lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
- Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it
should be hard to read.
- Real programmers don't write application programs, they program right
down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't
do systems programming.
- Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat twinkies, and szechevan food.
- Real programmers programs never work right the first time. But if you
throw them on the machinve they can be patched into working in only a
few 30-hours debugging sessions.
- Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around
at 9 am, it's because they were up all night.
- Real programmers don't write in Visual Basic. Actually, no programmers
write in Visual Basic, after the age of 12.
- Real programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't
read the listings of the object deck.
- Real programmers don't write in Pascal, or Bliss, or Ada, or any of
those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing if for people
with weak memories.
- Real programmers know better than the users what they need.
- Real programmers think structured programming is a communist plot.
- Real programmers don't use schedules. Schedules are for manager's toadies.
Real programmers like to keep their manager in suspense.
- Real programmers think better when playing adventure.
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Comments to: Martin P.J. Zinser
Last modified: 20010401